10 Resolutions of the Single Gal
At the end of 2004, she sits down on her plush couch in that floaty nightie, legs curled under her, and pink fluffy-tipped pencil in her hand (just in case she may need to adjust some of those resolutions later ;-) Diary at the ready, she tilts her head in concentration to make thoseNew Year's Resolutions
Get a sneak peek into her (sometimes disillusional) plans for the New Year,
and your Girl's revelations about them...
1. I WILL lose those 5kgs I gained over Christmas (I can't believe I let myself go like that - how will I ever find a man if I weigh this much!?(...despite the fact that she STILL weighs only just over 50!! This one can get tedious if, say, you're taking her out to a burger bar - she'll no doubt choose the rabbit food. But have patience Romeo! It'll pass as she cruises further into the year, and gains confidence in you!......Ever heard of a bit of "sugar-coating" the truth???)
2. I will make an effort to look gorgeous EVERY time I go out - you never know when you're going to bump into Mr. Right! But that's not the reason I'm doing it - it's for myself (but just in case...) (ONLY for your benefit Romeo, though she may say it's just for her own peace of mind!)
3. I am going to use the gym membership that I opened a year ago (and used 2ce?) and go at LEAST 4 times a week (ah yes, this is a great place for her flounce around in her skimpies, hoping to catch your eye! Or is that the reason that you go there...?)
4. I'm going to make an effort to see my mother more often (AAAAAAAAH! YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE! But don't you dare bolt Mister! Her mother is her personal interviewer - if you make nice with Mamma, you stand a better chance of snatching her adoration and everlasting gratitude...know what I mean?! ;-)
5. I'm giving up drinking and smoking (don't worry about this one, it won't last - we all say that before the New Year hits us, then BAM! reality strikes and we realise we can't really do without that glass of wine after a long day's work, or those 5 consecutive shooters to help us "loosen up a bit" when we hit the dance floor)
6. I'm going to have a HUUUUUUUGE spring clean, and KEEP IT THAT WAY! (BEAUTIFUL! What more could you ask for? Ditch your own crash-point and move in with her! A clean house means you'll never have to do the dishes, or pick you your sexy booty-huggers off the floor!)
7. I'm DEFINITELY going to stop waiting by the phone for him to call (hmmm, if you say so...the rules of being a babe inevitably involve waiting - albeit pretending not to - for that delicious man whom you met last night to buzz your line......so gents, don't fear that you'll have to call the next day - that's all part of the strategy)
8. I'm going to play him at his own game, and WIN! (Sweet! It's what you've wanted all along anyway, and finally she's seeing the light! No strings, no heavy emotions, just a one-night, fun-filled party...and I don't mean getting her home to your bed, darling!...just having a blast with no expectations, from BOTH SIDES!)
9. I'm going to take up the music/pottery/art/literature class I've always dreamed of (so you find literature boring...BAD LUCK! Your lady wants a supportive, listening (actively), interested ear from you, and she'll love you even more if you (pretend?) you're interested. Increase your points on her scoreboard by offering to take the class with her....hmmmm?)
10. I'm GOING to find Mr. Right this year! (oh the exquisite way the world works! You're going to make it easy for her to achieve THIS resolution, aren't you?!)
So there you have it! Your first insight into Her World. Now all we need to do is get you to write and lay out YOUR cards! Remember Handsome, it's all about you!
posted by Kerry @ 1:55 AM
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