Chat Her Up!

Friday, November 04, 2005

YG Fight Club

Had a fight with a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is your own exceptional morality and self-control the ONLY thing keeping you from destroying that horrid "person" who's hurt you...

[imagine: she sticks her hand into her handbag to get her cellphone and instead gets a fistful of jelly; he, wrapped up in his own audacity, climbs nonchalantly into the front seat of his fancy car and finds himself sitting in a pile of baking flour....ah, the joys of revenge....]

But instead of facing comeback-revenge or, even worse, a call from the new girlfriend/boyfriend, why don't you meet your nemesis online at Your Girl's Fight Club? Designed for verbal thrashing, vocal annihalation, and mind-blowing "I'll give you a piece of my mind!" - all at your fingertips (and safely on the other side of your PC)...this site, linked to Chat Her Up! gives you the opportunity to let all that frustration burst out of its seams!

All you have to do is click on the snarling cat below the pink chat box (symbolic of how you're feeling, right?)...let rip, and tell that person who has taken the incredible you for granted EXACTLY what he/she can go and do with themselves......

*Ding! Ding*.....Round 1......

Luv,
YG

Monday, October 31, 2005

A romantic mountain stroll.....

Hey there!

Just finished reading some of your comments - thanks a million for sharing your thoughts! Spells, I'll see if I can whip up a batch of non-voodoo ;-) "spells" to try out on the dashing knight who is clearly just WAITING to meet the gorgeous gal that you are. And Kevin, thanks for the compliment! *wink*

Just a quick note in passing...can't stay long today...just got back from swanning around in the mountains. Yes, picture this: Your Girl frolicking in the lush green hills (probably looking more like an over-fed sheep than the delicate Heidi she's trying to portray). The sun is shining from beyond the clouds, cows are grazing in the distance, all is peaceful...a suave and handsome man strides up towards her and.................bam!! She trips over a stone and falls into a bog.

Romantic....... (if you're impaired of eyesight and hearing).........

Right'o then. Chat later!

Luv always,
Your Girl

Friday, June 24, 2005

The Buyer's Guide - Connecting your Wallet to Your Woman...Safely

Yes, I'm back. Pardon? No, I didn't join the cast of "Lost", the series, I was just out digging into the private lives of your sweet temptresses, for YOUR benefit (might I add!)

Which has led me to the the spectacular presentation of "The Buyer's Guide - Connecting your wallet to your woman...safely". This little slice of brilliance will transfer Retail Therapy from her vengeance, to your peace of mind, so without further delay.....The Buyer's Guide.

Mood Buying

The Bad Mood
Your lady has developed a bad case of Mouth Trauma and you can't do anything right. The solution: accompanied by your wallet (which is securely in your zip-up pocket, with tiny padlock attached), make a dash to the florist, and purchase her a HUGE bunch of deep red roses. This spells love, affection and understanding (where chocolate spells F-A-T, and jewellery spells B-A-N-K-R-U-P-T-C-Y). Her smile will bloom, her bad mood disipate like dew in the sun, and she will think that you're just the greatest.

The It's-Your-Fault Mood
This is the worst case scenario, where you'd rather be visiting your mother-in-law and looking at all her old wedding albums, than be in the same room with Hitl-her. Now you may be tempted to offer her a choice of gold, silver or platinum...but DON'T! This is the easiest way to elicit a personal invitation from your bank manager, to a party where the band is Bad Boys (in) Blue. Now's the time where you play your finest hand - full house. Candles, poetry, (those nice red roses you bought ;-)...boy are you a kamikazi relationship pilot... and I hope you know your way around the kitchen, 'cause you're going to be this ship's captain today! But whoa there before you hike up your skirts and high-tail it out of there - think how grateful your wallet will be!

Occasion Buying

Anniversaries
This one is interpreted as a WW(W)E (World Wallet Wrestling) spectacle. If the thoughts of spending thousands on a tiny bracelent make you whimper like a hadida on helium, do not fret! The answer is as simple is saying-the-alphabet-backwards-in-Latin (just kidding!). All you need to do is pick up the first thing you see whilst walking the dog (no, not its doodles) and slap a symbolic meaning onto it (usually involving love and how gorgeous she is) that will make her sigh with the pure romance of it! Hope you know how to rhyme Romeo.......

Well, we'll have to continue with the Buyer's Guide at a later stage mi amores...time ticks by, and I've got to fly!

Luv, Your Girl

Friday, February 04, 2005

To Fight, or Not to Fight?

So you want to fight with me? I think that we should take this outside then....... Follow me to the "YG Fight Club" and SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT!!!

GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY......

Friday, January 28, 2005

The Feline Femina

Ever wished that you had some mundane, simple creature that you could compare women to(knock, knock boys! Women are NOT the "mundane, simple" creature!) to try and implode the complexity that means "WOMAN"??? Well, your Girl has found this creature, and is going to de-explain The Woman's World.

HERE KITTY, KITTY.......

For your viewing pleasure (because I know that things are easier to understand if in a more tangible form) picture a beautiful, sleek, sophisticated cat. She has long legs, come-to-bed eyes, and a purr that makes you want to buy her the world. Let's call her.....Kitty.....Got the picture? OK, let's start breaking her down.......

So you're in the mood for a bit of lurrrve. You ask Kitty to sit on your lap. What does she do? Turns tail and skitters away, nose in the air, and you clearly get the impression "only under my terms boy!" Sound familiar?

When you first met Kitty, did she fall into your arms, crooning that you were her only, her all, her master? HA! She probably scooted away, and you had to entice her with a tasty tidbit (Stop it! I don't mean THAT tidbit - and you know it!!! ;-( Bad Bad BAD!) Believe it.....or not?

Now I know that you boys ADORE patting her luscious beee-hind - it's just affectionate, right??? Well, ever try grabbing Kitty's booty in public? Did she purr? I DON'T THINK SO! A baleful glare, or swat of the paw is what YOU'LL get for your trouble!

Kittys like nice things, and are not afraid to ask for it! And of course the poor, unsuspecting you just can't refuse her when she rubs herself against you, whispering softly, looking at you with those adoring eyes! What's a man to do....??!!!

And of course, Kitty loves her independance! Try keeping her locked up and you'll come home to a niiiiiiiice surprise...Oh! Didn't I tell you? Kitty's a closet stripper!

And what more clear comparison could you have than if you bring OTHER Kittys home......??? Ooh la la, NOW you're in for a cat-fight! MEEEEEEOOOOOOW!!

But on the other side - if you take good care of your Kitty, love her (when she wants it), care for her (when she wants it), be faithful to her (that's in the contract ;-)...she'll purr for you.....all...night...long... ;-)

Monday, January 17, 2005

Even good girls are bad sometimes!

My, my...what a cadenza! An interesting (yet somewhat disturbing) gentleman recently whispered in my ear that all our romeos and lovely ladies are unable to comment on my articles! Fancy that!

So this is my test post following a few changes in settings...hope this works!

Love, Your Girl

PS: check out what our articulate, controversial gentleman has to say...

http://www.iamhim.blogspot.com

Thursday, January 13, 2005

"The Game" - chess anyone?

I was visiting a very good friend of mine last night and, snuggled up on the comfy suede couches with a steaming cup of tea in hand, we inevitably turned to the subject of men. This discussion though is not about what 2 women alone talk of on the Male Scale (I'll reserve that for another time), but about "The Game" - the intricate, carefully planned, strategic chess game of flirtation and love.

Admit it - we all play "The Game". Each level of a relationship (serious or not) has some sort of 'tried-and-tested' play. For example...you plan to go out to a nightclub - what are the steps that you take?
1. You drape yourself in your sexiest, most attention-holding outfit (depending on who you want to impress)
2. You check your hair in the mirror, maybe brush your teeth (in the hopefulness that someone deigns to snack on your lips)
3. And don't forget the deodorant - that specific scent that you believe will make the target swoon

OK, so now you're set. Off to the club we go! First thing you do when you're inside is look around - who's there and who's who? Select a few targets that you want to hit with your charm and sensuality (and also subconsciously tick off the ones you KNOW will not appreciate your generous advances!)
So the chess board is set up. The first move is yours

Guy: mind says - let's buy her a drink. So you go up to her and say something like, "Can I buy you a drink?" (very original!)
Girl: mind inactive at first - looks the guy over...not bad
mind says - is he the type that'll expect something back?
Guy: mind says - now she owes me
Girl: OK, he can get me a drink, but if he tries ANYTHING I'm out of here!

So now you're sitting at the bar, having that drink...

Girl: mind says - he's bought me a drink - I know he's interested; it's time to go to the bathroom and get the girls' advice......and off she goes (after mentioning something about "just going to the bathroom quickly")
Guy: mind says - I wonder if she kisses on the first meet (it's not exactly a date or anything). I'm going to try anyway, and if she doesn't, I'll try again

Anyway, you get the picture! It's not just one side involved in "The Game" - I know some of you boys think that it's only chicks that play games (she over-analyses EVERYTHING - all I asked her was if she wanted a drink, and now she thinks I want to ravage her and impregnate her and keep her as my "fluff on the side"!)

OH BOY ARE YOUR DREAMING! You guys are just as guilty in playing "The Game" - you just aren't as conscious of it as we are! Tsk tsk!

Hey! How 'bout you send in some of your conquests won through playing "The Game"? They say that learning from someone else's experience......OK, they actually say it never works......but hey, it'll be interesting to see how creative you were.........or not.