The Feline Femina
Ever wished that you had some mundane, simple creature that you could compare women to(knock, knock boys! Women are NOT the "mundane, simple" creature!) to try and implode the complexity that means "WOMAN"??? Well, your Girl has found this creature, and is going to de-explain The Woman's World.HERE KITTY, KITTY.......
For your viewing pleasure (because I know that things are easier to understand if in a more tangible form) picture a beautiful, sleek, sophisticated cat. She has long legs, come-to-bed eyes, and a purr that makes you want to buy her the world. Let's call her.....Kitty.....Got the picture? OK, let's start breaking her down.......
So you're in the mood for a bit of lurrrve. You ask Kitty to sit on your lap. What does she do? Turns tail and skitters away, nose in the air, and you clearly get the impression "only under my terms boy!" Sound familiar?
When you first met Kitty, did she fall into your arms, crooning that you were her only, her all, her master? HA! She probably scooted away, and you had to entice her with a tasty tidbit (Stop it! I don't mean THAT tidbit - and you know it!!! ;-( Bad Bad BAD!) Believe it.....or not?
Now I know that you boys ADORE patting her luscious beee-hind - it's just affectionate, right??? Well, ever try grabbing Kitty's booty in public? Did she purr? I DON'T THINK SO! A baleful glare, or swat of the paw is what YOU'LL get for your trouble!
Kittys like nice things, and are not afraid to ask for it! And of course the poor, unsuspecting you just can't refuse her when she rubs herself against you, whispering softly, looking at you with those adoring eyes! What's a man to do....??!!!
And of course, Kitty loves her independance! Try keeping her locked up and you'll come home to a niiiiiiiice surprise...Oh! Didn't I tell you? Kitty's a closet stripper!
And what more clear comparison could you have than if you bring OTHER Kittys home......??? Ooh la la, NOW you're in for a cat-fight! MEEEEEEOOOOOOW!!
But on the other side - if you take good care of your Kitty, love her (when she wants it), care for her (when she wants it), be faithful to her (that's in the contract ;-)...she'll purr for you.....all...night...long... ;-)
posted by Kerry @ 4:10 AM
2 Comments:
Hold up kitty… this kitty is in fact a mantis.
Ever kept two dogs, one larger than the other? Lets say for example you buy a poodle and a rotweiler… inevitably you'll have the poodle waiting for you to fully open the door before it will exit, and a well matured rotweiler on your lap within a week.
You see… the one sees the other and naturally assumes it's the same. Ever watched Hot chick? Or any of those gender-swapping shows?
Enter, Our lady's confusion.
Here's the story… the way it was, the way it still is, and the way it will always be.
Kitty wants to be cared for? ...care for MASTER.
Oh and how we do love to pet kitty… "turn around, hiss, scratch, bite"… and the worst of us would do no less than show kitty the curb with his foot. The best of us… well… we'd wear a sugar-coated sock.
You see m'aam, often men just don't share this fantastic sense of attachment… one bite from kitty… and, well, the next kitty works all the same. And she probably wouldn't "meow" about a few dishes either.
So… next time you walk past a mirror… don't bark at it… that little insignificant poodle is you love.
Hmm - cats, dogs, poodles and siamese?
I realise we originate from monkeys but cats?
Okay - appreciate it's a metaphor -
But if a man has a mood - he gets anger management,
So...if she has a mood - get help.
Because, for wont of a better metaphor - there's plenty of fish in the sea...
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